Patience

5 min Read

Patience involves caring for the anger and upset that arise from delays, troubles, or suffering, allowing them to transform into clear seeing and discernment. It is characterized by steady perseverance, careful self-soothing, and diligence.

**What is Patience?** 

Patience is intelligent restraint.

It is a pause that allows us to take time, space, and care to master ourselves. This self-mastery progresses from feeling overwhelmed and lacking skills to attaining clarity, empowerment, and creative solutions.

Pausing during upset is an active process-it takes effort.

During the pause, it's time to look for the bigger picture, ground uncomfortable emotions and body sensations, connect to compassion--and then take conscientious action. By restraining our reactions during this pause, we can care for ourselves until we become responsive.

When things are upsetting, it can feel like speeding up and tunnel vision.

Slowing down and sending your awareness into the big picture of life, almost as if you are observing yourself from a distance, can be an antidote. 

Here, you might look for connections to a higher self, personal values, and images of helpful people that can help hold the constricted energy of upset along with you, allowing that energy to expand. The hope with this bird's eye view is to discern new possibilities from a broader perspective.

Slowing down, separating from your story, and also addressing our physical distress get us closer to responsiveness.

The beginning of Patience teaches us that our internal, bodily feelings guide us through upset to clarity.

If your belly clenches, jaw tightens, or breath shortens, it indicates that patience is not yet present. Feeling unnecessarily hurried or tense is also a signal to pause and become present in your body in a careful and nurturing way. These are moments to release the story of your experience and tend to your physical body.

The way out of upset is through presence with your body. 

Let's explore what's possible here with a brief visualization:

- **Imagine a recent time when you felt overwhelmed. ** 

What do you see?

Can you release the story and simply feel?

Now, lift your arms above you in a V shape and hold them.

Breathe in and out while holding the shape for 10 breaths.

**What changes?**

- **Next think of moments of irritation or feeling rushed.** 

Recall the sensations in your body.

Feel how your legs connect with the ground.

Breathe deeply three times (at least)

Imagine all your sensations to spread into the ground.

**What would it be like to walk around for a moment, pump your arms, and return to the situation when you feel refreshed?**

- **What about a time you felt disgusted?** 

Can you feel that sensation in your eyes?

Allow them to squint deeply until they are ready to shift.

Does that change anything?

Make fists and press them slowly but firmly into a cushion.

What happens?

For any of these situations, can you imagine sharing your feelings with a supportive friend? 

Or, if you were to journal about it, what would you say?

**What difference would that make?**

Patient presence is marked by a deep breath, a feeling of slowing release, and movement from rumination to creative openness. Sometimes tears can come too, and that's normal and purifying. Our bellies soften, and the steady rhythm of our resting heart rate returns. In any practice here, you're increasing your capacity to feel your feelings.

This state involves being in the same situation while also connecting with our hearts and executive functioning in our minds. Our hearts recognize the pain of the situation alongside our desire to improve it in the ways we can while accepting what we cannot change. Relaxed alertness emerges—a mindset innately imbued with compassionate clarity.

Often, what follows is more creative solutions to see our role in increasing harmony and then, finally, taking action. Now is the time to respond.

Ultimately, patience enables us to enhance our situation beyond our previous imagination, allowing our natural creativity the time it needs to innovate. With soft bellies and strong hearts, we return to the table reset and ready to try again—this time, with a gentle start.

**Training with Patience to Find the Pearl**

Emotions, much like ocean waves, are constant. They can be pleasant or unpleasant, serving as indicators of our boundaries, problems, and resources for safety.

In these tumultuous moments, when we feel strong urges to move toward pleasant experiences and away from unpleasant ones, it can feel like being caught in a storm surge.

S-O-S!!!

While reactivity often follows a well-worn path towards undesired destinations, the gift of the Patience muse is that it helps us formulate fresh responses.

In these cases, let's visualize the Patient Muse creating a magical life vest, reminding us of important steps to take as we learn to navigate these waves.

**The Patient Life Vest**

(For Use Every Day and Often)

**Step 1: Paddling Out—Move Your Body** 

Visualize being in a sea storm with a surf board and paddling out to sea. Feel all the sensations in your body and move them.

Circle your arms like a swimmer, pump your arms, and push your hands. Shake it off. Try exercising, such as running, dancing, or weightlifting. Write it out to work it out.

**Step 2: Inflate to See the Big Picture** 

Imagine the vest swelling like a balloon, taking you high into the sky. 

Imagine you have to breathe to inflate the vest. 

Try to see the big picture.

Move around, and change tasks if possible. 

Picture yourself rising above the storm, gaining perspective on who you want to be. What do you see? What can you let go of to feel lighter?

**Step 3: Air Tank to explore Sensations** 

Patience is diving deep into your felt sensations and acknowledging all parts of yourself, like exploring a coral reef. Visualize your life vest transforming into an air tank, allowing you to explore your emotional landscape. Imagine diving below the waves, breathing consciously (and with empathy) as you explore your feelings.

With each breath, affirm: 

**Breathing in:** "I see you."

**Breathing out:** "I feel you."

**Breathing in:** "I hear you."

**Breathing out:** "I love you."

** Connecting to the Heart Ground ** 

Imagine you come to the bottom of the reef and land at the sea floor—The ocean bed is connecting to your heart-your core that seeks harmony and thrives on connection.

**The Pearl of Patience**

In the heart ground see an oyster shell. 

Open it and discover the the Pearl of Patience. 

What is the pearl of wisdom here? What wants to be integrated?

Think about how it’s an irritant that causes the oyster to create a pearl. 

Does this have any meaning to you in this situation?

**Come to the Surface and Find Friends**

Imagine bringing this pearl up to the surface. Now in the waves you see your some trusted people bobbing along with you. As well, there are self- help books, like buoys that can you can find refuge in.

Remember to look up at big Sky, beginning to clear.

Surfs up, imagine riding the waves.

**Water like Glass and Step to the Shore**

Lastly, imagine the storm swells settle and the water becomes like mirrored glass. What do you see?

Take your Pearl of Wisdom and head towards shore.

What is your next best step to make your landing?

Discerning in your decisions, patience saves you the energy you would have wasted picking up the wreckage from conflicts. Each time you transform challenges into patience, you become a source of refuge for others.

Of course, like learning to surf, perfecting patience doesn't happen overnight. Mistakes will be made—you're learning to work with challenging emotions. But building a world with more tolerance begins with never giving up on your ability to improve over time.

With Patience, people learn to trust you. Your magical vest can also become a raft for them. You can achieve a more relaxed state of mind because every obstacle is an opportunity to respond.

**The Patient Muse** 

In a world with shorter attention spans and productivity goals surpassing normal human functioning, we all experience our impatience, particularly when directed toward us. However, we also know how impactful it is to experience the opposite—when someone extends patience toward us during challenging moments, diffusing the situation and fostering remedies and community rather than division and conflict.

Consider this as you create your Cosmic Rainbow Heart:

- Create a Cosmic Heart of gratitude for someone who embodies patience in your life. What is it like to be with them? Write them a note of appreciation on the back.

- Create a heart directed toward a strong emotion. What is it asking for? What does it need? What is it like to hold it? How can you let it transform into wisdom?

- Create a heart for someone who has upset you, but with whom you still have some room to practice patience. Imagine softening and creating peace between you.